This is Bjork. Growing up, im sure people in my age group have heard of her. She's a pretty icelandic girl with loads of talent. I was going to only include her song Hyperballad, but then i decided to include oh so quiet, cause that song also kicks ass. Anyway, so heres both It's oh so quiet, which im SURE you will love, and hyperballad, which im sure by the end of the song you will like. anyway, im never wrong about these things so enjoy!!!
This here song is hyperballad!!!!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Friday, December 25, 2009
On Fucking Awesome One Liners IX
A part of real living as a human being, as a spiritual being, is to embrace and encompass your fear, your love and not run away from anything cause thats the life experience.
Monday, December 21, 2009
On Fucking Awesome One Liners VIII
People always say oohhh the government will take care of it, they'll do it - they'll...they - they who? its starts with us
Saturday, December 19, 2009
On Art Without Borders
I saw this video online when i was running around listening to Rage Against the Machine. Just inspirational really. to me this is what art is about. balls out without limit. in the words of rage, fuck you i wont do what you tell me.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Sunday, December 13, 2009
On The Duality Of Man
Who are you? seriously. Who are you? are you defined as individual because of looks? inner shit? thats a topic of debate in many different fields. recently i watched a documentary where the host went around and did experiments that scientists in this field use to figure out how we get our sense of self.
In this doc, he mentioned that inside, it feels like intrinsic truth, that you are you. and this you, isnt defined by your body's appearance. now, he says this feels like truth. later in the documentary he partcipates in an experiment where he sat down in a chair, and given viritual reality goggles. behind him, they set up two cameras, one for each eye and then the scientist starts conducting the experiment, he pokes the host in the chest, but takes a marker and makes it seem like hes poking in the camera's "chest". so what he sees, is himself being poked in the chest, but from the perspective of directly behind him, with the marker going towards him to trick his brain into thinking hes now behind himself. in the middle of this, he whips out a hammer and pretends to smash the camera's "chest" in. and the dude, seeing that, flinches even though he knows his body isnt there. when the camera is removed, he reported a sensation like...being pushed forward back into his actual body. no i wont read into this and say thats his soul, thats too easy.
they conduct other experiments which reveal other crazy things, like how you can predict a person's decisions before they even know what they'll do. from 6-15 seconds in advance (harvard got 15, this place got 6). also, these decisions were made before the information to make the decision was shown to the test subject. which opens up a really fraked up can of worms i wont get into here. one more experiment i must tell you about is the self awareness test. what they do is secretly put somthing on a childs face, and then give him a mirror, if the child immediately takes it off, he knows the kid in the mirror is him. they recognize the person is them in the mirror after about 18 months. chimps and orangutans can pass this test as well.
why have i told you these experiments? because that is the secular view on the duality of man. man is one and conciousness is the result of all lower brain functions manifesting itself in the cortex, but perceives that he is two due to a logical fallacy. his mind thinks it's separate from the body - while this is a good answer, i dont think the experiments prove this. in fact, i think they actually give proof for the indian philosophic ideas about the soul. whhhaaatt???
the soul is what, makes you , you. your soul in another body is still you.
anyway, they come to the conclusion that conciousness is the result of all brain function, the final product. hogwash. the mind and soul arent separate, and they arent one. they are a double helix (jumping to conclusions here, but woot dna?). the soul and the mind are constantly at war with eachother. the soul looks within itself to find the world, and the mind looks outside itself to find the world. the soul want to know the truths about the world, be "good", the soul is connected with the universe the same way our bodies are connected to the universe atomically. and this war is what gives the perception of duality. the mind tries to control the soul using any stimulus from the senses. food, sex, drugs. its these distractions which prevents the soul from learning truths about the universe and itself. now its fine and dandy to say stuff like this in our society, but ya'll dawkinists will think im crazy without some attempt at logical proof (logic does not produce btw, more on that later)
so, can this view of duality explain those experiments which seem to show that the you are just the final product of synapses? i think so.
1st: the baby and the mirror test. an indian philosopher would say that the reason why the baby doesnt recognize itself, is because their soul is in a brand new body, it has no idea thats what its vessell looks like. and in addition to that, the soul is trying to navigate its baby bodied vessel. at 18 months the soul/mind learns that this is the vessell for what i perceive as myself. imagine trying to navigate using a brand new language and symbols.
2nd: the camera trick. im sure you can figure out what the IP's would say about this. basically that you just tricked the soul into believe that the sensory input from the cameras was the same sensory input that its been getting this whole life. the soul gets tricked, the mind tells it its being touched, so you think YOU'RE being touched. i still dont know what ot make of tha tfeeling of being sucked back into his body. is that just him who felt it ?does everyone get that? dunno yet.
3rd: the decision prediction test. well i think thats possible because your "subconcious" IS your soul. ever get ideas and have no idea where they come from? your subconcious. just cause i call it a soul or subconcious doesnt change what we understand it as. its that thing thats part of you, that you dont really know much about. the subconcious mind is what makes these decisions. yogis delve into their subconcious to learn truths about the universe and themselves, we see these same yogis use this same meditation to go into their subconcious to SLOW THEIR FUCKING HEART. now do you realise the logistics of that? that means that he was able to conciously control an ancient part of the brain that has no connection to will, it operates on its own and automatically (hence autonomic nervous system). now we've seen this done on tv, but do you realise that hes conciously controlling the most base function of animalia? that right there is evidence that people there is a subconcious mind out of your reach normally, and through practice you can access that part of your brain. why is it a stretch to think that this part of your brain may be able to percieve more than our senses. we already know that our brain ignores 3/4 of all sensory imput anyway. i once had an experiment done on me (and my class) where the prof asked us to watch a video, and count the number of times the basketball was being passed among a group. after the video, he then asked us, who saw the monkey? no one fucking saw the monkey. he played the video back. a guy in a gorilla suit goes into the middle of the screen and dances around, no fucking joke, almost all of us missed that. maybe 5 out of 150 saw that.
i dont know what else to say about this, i dont wanna draw anymore conclusions but rather give you some food for thought. next time imma tell you what i think of logic, i can already hear the hounds of dawkins and darwin coming for my blood.
In this doc, he mentioned that inside, it feels like intrinsic truth, that you are you. and this you, isnt defined by your body's appearance. now, he says this feels like truth. later in the documentary he partcipates in an experiment where he sat down in a chair, and given viritual reality goggles. behind him, they set up two cameras, one for each eye and then the scientist starts conducting the experiment, he pokes the host in the chest, but takes a marker and makes it seem like hes poking in the camera's "chest". so what he sees, is himself being poked in the chest, but from the perspective of directly behind him, with the marker going towards him to trick his brain into thinking hes now behind himself. in the middle of this, he whips out a hammer and pretends to smash the camera's "chest" in. and the dude, seeing that, flinches even though he knows his body isnt there. when the camera is removed, he reported a sensation like...being pushed forward back into his actual body. no i wont read into this and say thats his soul, thats too easy.
they conduct other experiments which reveal other crazy things, like how you can predict a person's decisions before they even know what they'll do. from 6-15 seconds in advance (harvard got 15, this place got 6). also, these decisions were made before the information to make the decision was shown to the test subject. which opens up a really fraked up can of worms i wont get into here. one more experiment i must tell you about is the self awareness test. what they do is secretly put somthing on a childs face, and then give him a mirror, if the child immediately takes it off, he knows the kid in the mirror is him. they recognize the person is them in the mirror after about 18 months. chimps and orangutans can pass this test as well.
why have i told you these experiments? because that is the secular view on the duality of man. man is one and conciousness is the result of all lower brain functions manifesting itself in the cortex, but perceives that he is two due to a logical fallacy. his mind thinks it's separate from the body - while this is a good answer, i dont think the experiments prove this. in fact, i think they actually give proof for the indian philosophic ideas about the soul. whhhaaatt???
the soul is what, makes you , you. your soul in another body is still you.
anyway, they come to the conclusion that conciousness is the result of all brain function, the final product. hogwash. the mind and soul arent separate, and they arent one. they are a double helix (jumping to conclusions here, but woot dna?). the soul and the mind are constantly at war with eachother. the soul looks within itself to find the world, and the mind looks outside itself to find the world. the soul want to know the truths about the world, be "good", the soul is connected with the universe the same way our bodies are connected to the universe atomically. and this war is what gives the perception of duality. the mind tries to control the soul using any stimulus from the senses. food, sex, drugs. its these distractions which prevents the soul from learning truths about the universe and itself. now its fine and dandy to say stuff like this in our society, but ya'll dawkinists will think im crazy without some attempt at logical proof (logic does not produce btw, more on that later)
so, can this view of duality explain those experiments which seem to show that the you are just the final product of synapses? i think so.
1st: the baby and the mirror test. an indian philosopher would say that the reason why the baby doesnt recognize itself, is because their soul is in a brand new body, it has no idea thats what its vessell looks like. and in addition to that, the soul is trying to navigate its baby bodied vessel. at 18 months the soul/mind learns that this is the vessell for what i perceive as myself. imagine trying to navigate using a brand new language and symbols.
2nd: the camera trick. im sure you can figure out what the IP's would say about this. basically that you just tricked the soul into believe that the sensory input from the cameras was the same sensory input that its been getting this whole life. the soul gets tricked, the mind tells it its being touched, so you think YOU'RE being touched. i still dont know what ot make of tha tfeeling of being sucked back into his body. is that just him who felt it ?does everyone get that? dunno yet.
3rd: the decision prediction test. well i think thats possible because your "subconcious" IS your soul. ever get ideas and have no idea where they come from? your subconcious. just cause i call it a soul or subconcious doesnt change what we understand it as. its that thing thats part of you, that you dont really know much about. the subconcious mind is what makes these decisions. yogis delve into their subconcious to learn truths about the universe and themselves, we see these same yogis use this same meditation to go into their subconcious to SLOW THEIR FUCKING HEART. now do you realise the logistics of that? that means that he was able to conciously control an ancient part of the brain that has no connection to will, it operates on its own and automatically (hence autonomic nervous system). now we've seen this done on tv, but do you realise that hes conciously controlling the most base function of animalia? that right there is evidence that people there is a subconcious mind out of your reach normally, and through practice you can access that part of your brain. why is it a stretch to think that this part of your brain may be able to percieve more than our senses. we already know that our brain ignores 3/4 of all sensory imput anyway. i once had an experiment done on me (and my class) where the prof asked us to watch a video, and count the number of times the basketball was being passed among a group. after the video, he then asked us, who saw the monkey? no one fucking saw the monkey. he played the video back. a guy in a gorilla suit goes into the middle of the screen and dances around, no fucking joke, almost all of us missed that. maybe 5 out of 150 saw that.
i dont know what else to say about this, i dont wanna draw anymore conclusions but rather give you some food for thought. next time imma tell you what i think of logic, i can already hear the hounds of dawkins and darwin coming for my blood.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
On Fucking Awesome One Liners VII
a story about a race of gas people
"the gas person got into his gas car to go to gas work. he forgot to feed the gas dog his gas dog gas food, so the gas dog gas shat all over the gas floor."
ROFLMAO
seriously.
"the gas person got into his gas car to go to gas work. he forgot to feed the gas dog his gas dog gas food, so the gas dog gas shat all over the gas floor."
ROFLMAO
seriously.
Friday, December 11, 2009
On Cassini's Photos of The Saturn Hexagon
This is Saturns hexagon
So have any of you seen this? So this is a formation that was first discovered by.....lemme check cause im thinking voyager and i dont wanna give you guys piss poor info.....*checks* yes it was voyager. anyway so cassini showed up recently and snapped a few of these. its a large rigid formation at the north pole of Saturn. wtf.
Why what the fuck? cause nature doesnt like straight lines. much less 6 pushed together. a few years after the voyager pictures (89) the black spot dissapeared (1991). maybe it was in response to the fact that nirvana was forming and they wanted to give them their full attention? who are they? aliens people, keep up.
i submit that there is an alien species living within Saturn, they are a gaseous race and are made of heavier gasses that dont occur under Earth pressures. cause seriously people, nature doesnt make straight lines. another thing i noticed as the difference between the inner hexagon and the outer hexagon. there not only is a black spot inside, but the area between the black spot the hexagons lines is a different pattern than the rest of gas outside the hexagon line. so maybe the hexagon is made of a compound that is hexagonal in its own molecule? given the pressures on the planet would it cause it to manifest itself as its most comfortable form? i have no idea.
really the most reasonable explanation is that it is some sort of storm cycle cause the black spot went away in line with the Saturns winter ending. so who knows what it is. to me theres more evidence at this point for aliens. but then again, there really isnt any evidence to make a conclusion either way, so my alien guess is as rational their storm guess. yes a hexagonal storm.
aliens live on saturns north pole, they build a gas barrier ot shelter them from the other gases and pressures. they saw voyager and were like wtf and moved their civilization deeper into the planet.
So have any of you seen this? So this is a formation that was first discovered by.....lemme check cause im thinking voyager and i dont wanna give you guys piss poor info.....*checks* yes it was voyager. anyway so cassini showed up recently and snapped a few of these. its a large rigid formation at the north pole of Saturn. wtf.
Why what the fuck? cause nature doesnt like straight lines. much less 6 pushed together. a few years after the voyager pictures (89) the black spot dissapeared (1991). maybe it was in response to the fact that nirvana was forming and they wanted to give them their full attention? who are they? aliens people, keep up.
i submit that there is an alien species living within Saturn, they are a gaseous race and are made of heavier gasses that dont occur under Earth pressures. cause seriously people, nature doesnt make straight lines. another thing i noticed as the difference between the inner hexagon and the outer hexagon. there not only is a black spot inside, but the area between the black spot the hexagons lines is a different pattern than the rest of gas outside the hexagon line. so maybe the hexagon is made of a compound that is hexagonal in its own molecule? given the pressures on the planet would it cause it to manifest itself as its most comfortable form? i have no idea.
really the most reasonable explanation is that it is some sort of storm cycle cause the black spot went away in line with the Saturns winter ending. so who knows what it is. to me theres more evidence at this point for aliens. but then again, there really isnt any evidence to make a conclusion either way, so my alien guess is as rational their storm guess. yes a hexagonal storm.
aliens live on saturns north pole, they build a gas barrier ot shelter them from the other gases and pressures. they saw voyager and were like wtf and moved their civilization deeper into the planet.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Sunday, December 6, 2009
!Ox6^Gb93WTf!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So i watched twilight.
Why? Well you see, as most of you know, this movie sucks. And as such i felt i needed to "audit" the video to "verify" its shittyness. cause ive been reading these hilarious articals about this movie and i wondered...could it really be that bad? maybe...but you must understand. i love bad movies. i watch bad movies all the time. they're kind good in some weird way. when i watch a movie, i dont take what i think it should be like into consideration. i just take it for what it is and see how entertained i am by it. some movies are almost aware that they're bad. and its a different kind of bad...trust me...
twlight was not this kind of bad.
ive been struggling with how to describe how bad this movie is to you. i have a pretty big vocabulary, but i can't summon words extreme enough to do justice to this movie. kinda weird that im talking about doing justice to a movie so criminal that even using its title in a sentence should be a felony but i want you to understand what i mean.....what movie would the average mindcreature reader (i wonder how many people have stumbled across this page...) like? OH SHIT I KNOW
alright, so take for example, the dark knight. that movie was bomb. so bomb. when i saw that mmovie i had really really really high expectations. and my buddy told me that no matter how high my expectations were for that movie, the dark knight will shatter them. so when i say i had high expectations for that movie, i really did. so when i finally saw that movie and it did just that....lets just say the babaloos are no joke.
Twilight was the EXACT opposite of that. For anyone that hasnt seen this movie, no, you have no idea how bad this movie is. none. none at all. many times during this rant ive considered burying my face in my hands and sobbing at my own inability to adequately warn you, weep at my own vocabularic impotence and cry for all the little girls who will have any sort of memory attached to this steamy pile. its really hard for me to accurately describe this dung heap but i'll try. Im gunna have to go through every bit of shit to tell you cause its so heavy on the mind....i need to get it OUT!!!! its AAAHHHHH
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
*Phew*
The direction was along side this, once in a while you'd see some direction attempts to actually suppress any attempted acting on any of the main characters parts. Yeah, i know, they were just about to act....and then you could almost hear the director telling the dude to be more "dark", and telling the girl to be more "vacant". this manifested itself on screen with the two actors having the same tone, same face etc. speaking of tone. this chick!!!!! WTF!!!!!
How the fuck did this director think it was ok to have the main character speak in monotone. i swear to god i hear more variation in pitch in a 1999 stephen hawking speech program. lets have our main character sound the same during her monologues to drive home that shes sad on the inside......wait she isnt sad on the inside either! shes nothing! this is so hard to write about simply because theres nothing to write about. how can i write about a character whose only trait is vacancy? how can i write about a character whose only straight is sparkly skin. ok i can write about that.
so let me illustrate a scene. bella thinks the dudes a vampire, and is responsible for killing the shit out of lots of people, so she then lures him into a forest walking by him angrily. then they discuss the vampireness in what is by far the worst set of lines ive ever heard delievered, more poorly executed than could be imagined by the mind that conceived it. he tries to convince her that hes a monster and is bad and shes like i dont care!!! of course this is based on a developing relationship between characters and true love (ROFLCOPTER DOWN!!!!). so hes like you know what bitch imma show you how monstrous i am. and he takes her and he uses his super speed to go to the top of the mountrain and out of the overcast and into the sunlight, because overcast means theres no sunlight in the valley. then hes like i'll show you.....and then he stands in the light and all this music starts to swell and he opens his shirt, all in this one ray of sunlight, and slowly turns towards her and sparkles. thats right. the author took out the only thing tha tmakes a vampire a fucking vampire and replaced it with the visual presentation of a chorus of angels going AAaaaAAAaaAAAaaaaaaaa - girls proceed spontaneously give birth. you know, i wanted to go into more of this but its hard to talk about characterless characters. so i think imma head out, oh wait, the plot sucked, i can talk about that. or rather....the lack thereof..
So theres no plot. and when i say theres no plot, i mean that for half the film, there are random scenes strung together by the characters themselves. what do i mean? the dude would show up, and be like....you dont like me!!! im bad!!!
you suck!!!
we shouldnt be friends!!
now im gunna be nice
i wanna grind you up and shoot you through my veins!
you know, typical high school bullshit. and shes all like wtf why are you watching me while i sleep and hes like poof im gone (she doesnt ask why actualy, she just accepts it) . and then shes like w.e then he sees her in class and theres a fan on and then he jizzes his pants. and then he doesnt suck blood cause hes a vegetarian and eats animals and stops a car from crushing her. and then shes like yo you got powers and hes like no i dont, then shes like yeah you do, then hes like no i dont. and then shes like i dont care if you're a vampire and then hes like but i might kill you and eat you and then shes when life gives you lemons, you die. and then later in the movie shes about to die and hes like i gotta suck on you so you dont die but i cant but i gotta but i cant stop mid way, its builds and builds and you just cant stop till you reach the summit, and then joseph smith shows up and is like yo its alright, i could do it but for some reason we're gunna make you do it, dont stay inside her too long cause its hard to stop midway and then he pulls out before he climaxes saving her virginity in the process.
Thats the plot whether you know it or not. I leave you with some sillyness.
More like bags full of awesome.
EDIT:
WTF!!!!!!!!!!
what the hell is the world smoking?
http://www.metacritic.com/film/titles/twilight2008?q=twilight holy shit wtf
Why? Well you see, as most of you know, this movie sucks. And as such i felt i needed to "audit" the video to "verify" its shittyness. cause ive been reading these hilarious articals about this movie and i wondered...could it really be that bad? maybe...but you must understand. i love bad movies. i watch bad movies all the time. they're kind good in some weird way. when i watch a movie, i dont take what i think it should be like into consideration. i just take it for what it is and see how entertained i am by it. some movies are almost aware that they're bad. and its a different kind of bad...trust me...
twlight was not this kind of bad.
ive been struggling with how to describe how bad this movie is to you. i have a pretty big vocabulary, but i can't summon words extreme enough to do justice to this movie. kinda weird that im talking about doing justice to a movie so criminal that even using its title in a sentence should be a felony but i want you to understand what i mean.....what movie would the average mindcreature reader (i wonder how many people have stumbled across this page...) like? OH SHIT I KNOW
alright, so take for example, the dark knight. that movie was bomb. so bomb. when i saw that mmovie i had really really really high expectations. and my buddy told me that no matter how high my expectations were for that movie, the dark knight will shatter them. so when i say i had high expectations for that movie, i really did. so when i finally saw that movie and it did just that....lets just say the babaloos are no joke.
You got knocked the fuck out
Twilight was the EXACT opposite of that. For anyone that hasnt seen this movie, no, you have no idea how bad this movie is. none. none at all. many times during this rant ive considered burying my face in my hands and sobbing at my own inability to adequately warn you, weep at my own vocabularic impotence and cry for all the little girls who will have any sort of memory attached to this steamy pile. its really hard for me to accurately describe this dung heap but i'll try. Im gunna have to go through every bit of shit to tell you cause its so heavy on the mind....i need to get it OUT!!!! its AAAHHHHH
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
*Phew*
I lost my self there for minute. *Ahem* So aside from all the things you've heard about (sparkly vampires) this movie had so many more tricks up its sleeve to ensure its guano trophy ownership. this movie was like a trifecta of crap. it had bad direction. bad acting, and writing screen and the other thing...plot? this movie didnt have that guy either or he was doing A LOT of peyote. i know thats 4 but fuck you. anyway first the acting. no facial expressions and no variation of tone in the voice....pretty much not acting. i cant really say much more about this than to state the fact that these people refused to behave like anything. I've seen better acting from plants.
Luke, I'm not your father - I'm your fiance.
Luke, I'm not your father - I'm your fiance.The direction was along side this, once in a while you'd see some direction attempts to actually suppress any attempted acting on any of the main characters parts. Yeah, i know, they were just about to act....and then you could almost hear the director telling the dude to be more "dark", and telling the girl to be more "vacant". this manifested itself on screen with the two actors having the same tone, same face etc. speaking of tone. this chick!!!!! WTF!!!!!
How the fuck did this director think it was ok to have the main character speak in monotone. i swear to god i hear more variation in pitch in a 1999 stephen hawking speech program. lets have our main character sound the same during her monologues to drive home that shes sad on the inside......wait she isnt sad on the inside either! shes nothing! this is so hard to write about simply because theres nothing to write about. how can i write about a character whose only trait is vacancy? how can i write about a character whose only straight is sparkly skin. ok i can write about that.
so let me illustrate a scene. bella thinks the dudes a vampire, and is responsible for killing the shit out of lots of people, so she then lures him into a forest walking by him angrily. then they discuss the vampireness in what is by far the worst set of lines ive ever heard delievered, more poorly executed than could be imagined by the mind that conceived it. he tries to convince her that hes a monster and is bad and shes like i dont care!!! of course this is based on a developing relationship between characters and true love (ROFLCOPTER DOWN!!!!). so hes like you know what bitch imma show you how monstrous i am. and he takes her and he uses his super speed to go to the top of the mountrain and out of the overcast and into the sunlight, because overcast means theres no sunlight in the valley. then hes like i'll show you.....and then he stands in the light and all this music starts to swell and he opens his shirt, all in this one ray of sunlight, and slowly turns towards her and sparkles. thats right. the author took out the only thing tha tmakes a vampire a fucking vampire and replaced it with the visual presentation of a chorus of angels going AAaaaAAAaaAAAaaaaaaaa - girls proceed spontaneously give birth. you know, i wanted to go into more of this but its hard to talk about characterless characters. so i think imma head out, oh wait, the plot sucked, i can talk about that. or rather....the lack thereof..
So theres no plot. and when i say theres no plot, i mean that for half the film, there are random scenes strung together by the characters themselves. what do i mean? the dude would show up, and be like....you dont like me!!! im bad!!!
you suck!!!
we shouldnt be friends!!
now im gunna be nice
i wanna grind you up and shoot you through my veins!
you know, typical high school bullshit. and shes all like wtf why are you watching me while i sleep and hes like poof im gone (she doesnt ask why actualy, she just accepts it) . and then shes like w.e then he sees her in class and theres a fan on and then he jizzes his pants. and then he doesnt suck blood cause hes a vegetarian and eats animals and stops a car from crushing her. and then shes like yo you got powers and hes like no i dont, then shes like yeah you do, then hes like no i dont. and then shes like i dont care if you're a vampire and then hes like but i might kill you and eat you and then shes when life gives you lemons, you die. and then later in the movie shes about to die and hes like i gotta suck on you so you dont die but i cant but i gotta but i cant stop mid way, its builds and builds and you just cant stop till you reach the summit, and then joseph smith shows up and is like yo its alright, i could do it but for some reason we're gunna make you do it, dont stay inside her too long cause its hard to stop midway and then he pulls out before he climaxes saving her virginity in the process.
Thats the plot whether you know it or not. I leave you with some sillyness.
More like bags full of awesome. EDIT:
WTF!!!!!!!!!!
what the hell is the world smoking?
http://www.metacritic.com/film/titles/twilight2008?q=twilight holy shit wtf
Sunday, November 29, 2009
On Fucking Awesome One Liners VI
"It doesnt matter if you're black or if you're white, every reasonable juror would come to a same result - that the LAPD framed a guilty man." - Ginger law student from Frontline documentary on the trial.
Friday, November 20, 2009
On Fucking Awesome One Liners V
A truth thats told with bad intent beats all the lies you can invent
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
On The Historical Doucheyness of The French. Ya douches.
So i was in the kitchen right, and i was thinking about something. and then during that thought process, someone got called an asshole. and then i realised somthing. you know who is consistently an asshole? France. like seriously, that guy is such a dick. he always gets up in everyones business and making shit tough for them. this shits a historical fact.
so in the usa's war for independence (why didnt she just ask?) they werent really gunna win. but then france was like you know what? fuck you england. fuck your whole family. fuck your dog. fuck your cat. fuck your couch. fuck your porch and fuck your colony. we're gunna go and help america just to fuck with you. we fart in your general direction england. fuck you.
france then proceeded to aid baby america not out of kindness. or for resources. nope, they did it just to piss off england. thats right america, your country was born out of france being a giant douche to england.
and nowadays, in the un. take any issue, and france will be like oooo everyone wants it to be this way.....if i...you know...mention veto or imply...they'll give me more attention! EUREKA! and bam france starts acting like a douche again. honestly man, someone needs to go and slap that guy. only like 4 countries er somthing have the power of veto and they arent even powerful countries. no one gives a shit about france. he was cool back in high school but he didnt really do well for himself. and his people, damn, they have him whipped. yeah im done.
DISCLAIMER:
France, is a guy i know. yes....
so in the usa's war for independence (why didnt she just ask?) they werent really gunna win. but then france was like you know what? fuck you england. fuck your whole family. fuck your dog. fuck your cat. fuck your couch. fuck your porch and fuck your colony. we're gunna go and help america just to fuck with you. we fart in your general direction england. fuck you.
france then proceeded to aid baby america not out of kindness. or for resources. nope, they did it just to piss off england. thats right america, your country was born out of france being a giant douche to england.
and nowadays, in the un. take any issue, and france will be like oooo everyone wants it to be this way.....if i...you know...mention veto or imply...they'll give me more attention! EUREKA! and bam france starts acting like a douche again. honestly man, someone needs to go and slap that guy. only like 4 countries er somthing have the power of veto and they arent even powerful countries. no one gives a shit about france. he was cool back in high school but he didnt really do well for himself. and his people, damn, they have him whipped. yeah im done.
DISCLAIMER:
France, is a guy i know. yes....
Monday, November 9, 2009
On Fucking Awesome One Liners III
If you're not a liberal when you're twenty years old you have no heart - if you're still a liberal when you're thirty years old you have no brain.
don't agree totally, but i under why someone would think this.
don't agree totally, but i under why someone would think this.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
On The King Of Fucking Awesome: Genki Sudo
Alright, so once upon a time, mma was a different landscape. cross training was all the craze with the cool kids and the old gaurd, the first gaurd, was slowly being beaten away. in this changing mma landscape, came a fighter - who not only cross trained, but retained his own...style...of fighting. he went through his division getting some big wins and a few dissapointing losses. all in all, it was a great career until he injured his back. now hes a pop star. dont fuck with him ,this peace loving hippy can beat up most of the world. heres his single, the aptly named "world order"
GENKI FUCKING OWNS YOUR SOUL.
GENKI FUCKING OWNS YOUR SOUL.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
On The Universe and Connectivity: In Song Form
My buddy showed me this song. and holy shit. i need to invent some words to describe how much i like this. not only is it a well done song, but its fucking inspirational. for those who know me, and or follow my blog, you'll know how overwhelmingly awesome i think the world is. you'll know that my favourite thing in the world, is knowledge. anyway, this song is excerpts of science interviews put through autotune and made into a song. basically they're just stating known facts about the universe and how it applies to us. the truth is moving.
The cosmos is also within us
We're made of star stuff
We are a way for the cosmos to know itself
The cosmos is also within us
We're made of star stuff
We are a way for the cosmos to know itself
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
On Music I Think Everyone Will Like
This if the first, of hopefully many posts about music i think everyone should hear. Todays song is called Pick Up by Bonobo. Bonobo is a british DJ with some mad skills. skills so mad.....that....its like....peta....at the sight of...seal rape... yes....that mad.
Anyway. I've been listening to his album Dial M for Monkey. Great collection of beats that evolve and dont get boring quickly unlike many other straight up beats. He owes this to his own contant refreshing of the sounds. he incorporates many new sounds every few bars, or changes a rythym or have a transition to make sure you dont get bored after about 2 minutes of the song. Through his beats ive been able to start writing lyrics seriously. not that they are good, its more that i couldnt a 4 down. so his music demands other creative people to put their own stuff on it - the mark of a true beat master.
anyway, i present to you, embedded for your convenience, Pick Up by Bonobo. i highly doubt you'll dislike this song. if you don't then....fuck you? yes.
WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA
Anyway. I've been listening to his album Dial M for Monkey. Great collection of beats that evolve and dont get boring quickly unlike many other straight up beats. He owes this to his own contant refreshing of the sounds. he incorporates many new sounds every few bars, or changes a rythym or have a transition to make sure you dont get bored after about 2 minutes of the song. Through his beats ive been able to start writing lyrics seriously. not that they are good, its more that i couldnt a 4 down. so his music demands other creative people to put their own stuff on it - the mark of a true beat master.
anyway, i present to you, embedded for your convenience, Pick Up by Bonobo. i highly doubt you'll dislike this song. if you don't then....fuck you? yes.
WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA
On The Zombification of Douche Bags
First lemme get this straight. i fucking love zombies. they're fucking rotting fucking human corpses that have come the fuck back to life to feast on everyones fucking brains. how the fuck cant you like it?
well for a long time, no one really liked zombies. it was a fringe community you know? every so often a zombie movie would come out and only the zombie kids would go out and be like ZOMG ZOMBIES. everyone else would be like fuck that movie, zombies dont scare me and my huge cock. fuck zombies. and then we'd go and watch our zombie movies and enjoy the shit out of it.
then we'd have fun talking about how we'd do in a zombie appocalypse. we'd keep track (im seriously here) of where we can get supplies, how fast, different escape routes, possible scenerios, defensive positions, how to view the media at the time, possible allied resistance vs small pack survival in the north. all sorts of stuff. its was badass cause we all knew how lame zombies were at actually killing people. aside from you just kinda standing there and letting a zombie bite you, they're pretty easy to get away from. and thats why all the normal kids didnt like zombies, they didnt see the fun of them. they didnt see how poetic the idea of the zombie was. think about it you assholes, slow, inevitable death. and then you have the romero films making social commentary on the side. and bam you got a genre that can achieve cult status and no more, just the way i like it. lets me keep my lame interests...well...lame:)
and then came the zombie video games....and slowly, frat boys all over the world, started being big on zombies. now most would say, well now more people like the same stuff you do!
NO!!!! THAT ISNT WHAT HAPPENED!!!!
what happened was all these people CLAIMED to like zombies, but really they just liked shooting them on their frat-house xbox 360!!!! they've never seen these fucking movies! im sorry but bitches, you cant like zombies unless you've seen a few zombie movies. oohh but ive seen resident evil and 28 weeks later. WEEKS LATER? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? AAAHHHHHHHH FUCK!!!! and because of these shit-gobbling ass-hats all the zombie movies comming out now, lack the charm of most other zombie movies. hats off to shaun of the dead though (ahem, lmao). dont get me wrong though, i am gunna watch these shitty zombie movies cause in essence, all zombie movies are kinda shitty.
the point is, fuck you douche bags. you took my cult-hobby and turned it into a fucking fraternity joke much like the guy with the smallest wang. i know you frats know this cause come on, what else is the point in all that "hazing". more like "lets see if these people will do anything we want so we can fuck them later while they're drunk". faggots. no offence to actual homosexuals since im sure you dont wanna be accociated with these people either. im sure you like real zombies just like me :)
in closing. FUCK YOU.
well for a long time, no one really liked zombies. it was a fringe community you know? every so often a zombie movie would come out and only the zombie kids would go out and be like ZOMG ZOMBIES. everyone else would be like fuck that movie, zombies dont scare me and my huge cock. fuck zombies. and then we'd go and watch our zombie movies and enjoy the shit out of it.
then we'd have fun talking about how we'd do in a zombie appocalypse. we'd keep track (im seriously here) of where we can get supplies, how fast, different escape routes, possible scenerios, defensive positions, how to view the media at the time, possible allied resistance vs small pack survival in the north. all sorts of stuff. its was badass cause we all knew how lame zombies were at actually killing people. aside from you just kinda standing there and letting a zombie bite you, they're pretty easy to get away from. and thats why all the normal kids didnt like zombies, they didnt see the fun of them. they didnt see how poetic the idea of the zombie was. think about it you assholes, slow, inevitable death. and then you have the romero films making social commentary on the side. and bam you got a genre that can achieve cult status and no more, just the way i like it. lets me keep my lame interests...well...lame:)
and then came the zombie video games....and slowly, frat boys all over the world, started being big on zombies. now most would say, well now more people like the same stuff you do!
NO!!!! THAT ISNT WHAT HAPPENED!!!!
what happened was all these people CLAIMED to like zombies, but really they just liked shooting them on their frat-house xbox 360!!!! they've never seen these fucking movies! im sorry but bitches, you cant like zombies unless you've seen a few zombie movies. oohh but ive seen resident evil and 28 weeks later. WEEKS LATER? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? AAAHHHHHHHH FUCK!!!! and because of these shit-gobbling ass-hats all the zombie movies comming out now, lack the charm of most other zombie movies. hats off to shaun of the dead though (ahem, lmao). dont get me wrong though, i am gunna watch these shitty zombie movies cause in essence, all zombie movies are kinda shitty.
the point is, fuck you douche bags. you took my cult-hobby and turned it into a fucking fraternity joke much like the guy with the smallest wang. i know you frats know this cause come on, what else is the point in all that "hazing". more like "lets see if these people will do anything we want so we can fuck them later while they're drunk". faggots. no offence to actual homosexuals since im sure you dont wanna be accociated with these people either. im sure you like real zombies just like me :)
in closing. FUCK YOU.
Monday, October 26, 2009
On The Scariest Movie of All Time
I love horror movies. And there are a lot of bad ones. but once in a while, you come across a horror movie so scary, so well done, that you actually...believe this will happen to you. you actually believe that the elevator will come to life and start killing people, and never be stopped.
Fear Personified.
Fear Personified.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
On Fucking Awesome One Liners II
Sometimes a man finds his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it.
On The Post Below
Yeah.....i kinda forgot that at the start of the universe, all 4 forces were the same force....vacuum energy probably didnt exist.....w/e, im not deleting that post, i spent too much time on it..god dammit why do the answers have to be so elusive?
OH I KNOW! cause its about the journey not the destination. <------what a load of shit.
OH I KNOW! cause its about the journey not the destination. <------what a load of shit.
On The Structure of the Universe
When talking about the life of the universe, we usually start with the big bang. Simply put, everything in the universe was compressed into one infinitely small point, and then for some reason it expanded. BANG. now, how and why this happened is the focus of many physicists. For instance, one explanation is called super symmetry. this says that in the beginning, the universe, while tiny, was perfectly symmetrical, and once again, for "some reason" that symmetry broke and BANG. Now, no one really knows why this small point expanded, it just did.
So you're prolly like then how do you know the universe was a point? cause we have data showing that universe is expanding to this day. push that motion backwards and you get the tiny point, from here on i will be calling this point a singularity. this may not be the correct term, but you see this |____| ???? that space is exactly how much of a fuck i give about that.
its important to note, that the expanding universe confuses scientists because the ammount of matter/dark matter/dark energy in the universe should mean that the gravity produced by it, should cause the universe to cave in on itself, instead its not only expanding, but at an increasing rate.
So one day i was thinking, why would the universe just expand?? so i started to think about things we know about the universe, and things that are not empirically proven, but mathematically make sense and is accepted as a good science in the community. no intelligent design here - in a later post i will talk about ID and how exactly its not good science. i also wanted to take into account a possible end of the universe. there are many proposed ideas, 2 of the simplest and most common are the heat death of the universe, and the big crunch. HDU says that eventually, everything will expand to such a point, that no atoms will interact with other atoms. big crunch is well....universe caves back in on itself.
the heat death of the universe has its roots in how the universe is expanding at an increasing rate for some reason. we know this to be true, but we do not know why its rate is increasing. this is at odds with the ammount of gravity in the universe cause the total gravity should mean we'll have a crunch, not a heat death. so theres info on both sides of that debate that can support.
so when i look at the world, i see an interconnected painting, and to understand the world, you cannot just look at the colours, you have to look at it from a distance and take the whole thing in. when i do that, ive seen that the universe, on many levels operates in cycles. the cycles may be long and complicated, by cycles anyway.
so when trying to think of an idea of how the universe begins, and ends, i decided that the universe too has to be cyclic. i believe in god, but i didnt wanna bring god into this either. for anything to exist ever, it has to have come from somthing pre-existing. nothing cant bare fruit, get what im saying? so in the universe, there has to be somthing infinite, i say its the universe itself. and it expands, and contracts.
but i could not stop there, ok the universe expands and contracts, but why? thats the question. newton saw gravity in action but didnt know why, and we still consider gravity the most mysterious force in the universe despite increased understanding. why is the question i had to answer.
so heres my proposal. what if the universe, is surrounded by an outer shell. and this shell exerts a vacuum on the expanding universe (the vacuum would come from the space between "exo-space" and our universe). as our universes boundary approaches this "exo-space" (thats a word i made up to help simplify) the gravity within the universe decreases as matter/dark matter becomes less dense accounting for why the universe is expanding at an increasing rate (the more dense matter is, the greater gravity it has). so what happens when the universe reaches the border of exo-space? well, the vacuum between the universe and exo-space becomes weaker as there is less room between the two (the universe is expanding increasingly now because the universe is young, and small). the gravity in the universe does not go away as there is still matter/dark matter in it. when the universe reaches the edge, it bounces off, and starts to collapse with the help of gravity from the matter/dark matter getting more dense.
it continues to cave in, however, as the universe gets smaller and smaller, that vacuum becomes more and more powerful. eventually the universe goes back to singularity, but the space between the singularity and exo-space is so large, that the vacuum created rips the singularity apart again, another big bang.
reader, do not take what i have just said as solid science. what i did was take pieces of info we know to be true about the universe, and tried to reconcile all of it. i dont want you going around telling your friends that this is the truth about the universe, it might be, but i dont KNOW. i just think that this is the most reasonable explanation for everything outside of god existing, which i think he does
yeah.......thats about it. i'll correct spelling and grammar for once cause i dont want anyone getting confused cause my english sucks.
So you're prolly like then how do you know the universe was a point? cause we have data showing that universe is expanding to this day. push that motion backwards and you get the tiny point, from here on i will be calling this point a singularity. this may not be the correct term, but you see this |____| ???? that space is exactly how much of a fuck i give about that.
its important to note, that the expanding universe confuses scientists because the ammount of matter/dark matter/dark energy in the universe should mean that the gravity produced by it, should cause the universe to cave in on itself, instead its not only expanding, but at an increasing rate.
So one day i was thinking, why would the universe just expand?? so i started to think about things we know about the universe, and things that are not empirically proven, but mathematically make sense and is accepted as a good science in the community. no intelligent design here - in a later post i will talk about ID and how exactly its not good science. i also wanted to take into account a possible end of the universe. there are many proposed ideas, 2 of the simplest and most common are the heat death of the universe, and the big crunch. HDU says that eventually, everything will expand to such a point, that no atoms will interact with other atoms. big crunch is well....universe caves back in on itself.
the heat death of the universe has its roots in how the universe is expanding at an increasing rate for some reason. we know this to be true, but we do not know why its rate is increasing. this is at odds with the ammount of gravity in the universe cause the total gravity should mean we'll have a crunch, not a heat death. so theres info on both sides of that debate that can support.
so when i look at the world, i see an interconnected painting, and to understand the world, you cannot just look at the colours, you have to look at it from a distance and take the whole thing in. when i do that, ive seen that the universe, on many levels operates in cycles. the cycles may be long and complicated, by cycles anyway.
so when trying to think of an idea of how the universe begins, and ends, i decided that the universe too has to be cyclic. i believe in god, but i didnt wanna bring god into this either. for anything to exist ever, it has to have come from somthing pre-existing. nothing cant bare fruit, get what im saying? so in the universe, there has to be somthing infinite, i say its the universe itself. and it expands, and contracts.
but i could not stop there, ok the universe expands and contracts, but why? thats the question. newton saw gravity in action but didnt know why, and we still consider gravity the most mysterious force in the universe despite increased understanding. why is the question i had to answer.
so heres my proposal. what if the universe, is surrounded by an outer shell. and this shell exerts a vacuum on the expanding universe (the vacuum would come from the space between "exo-space" and our universe). as our universes boundary approaches this "exo-space" (thats a word i made up to help simplify) the gravity within the universe decreases as matter/dark matter becomes less dense accounting for why the universe is expanding at an increasing rate (the more dense matter is, the greater gravity it has). so what happens when the universe reaches the border of exo-space? well, the vacuum between the universe and exo-space becomes weaker as there is less room between the two (the universe is expanding increasingly now because the universe is young, and small). the gravity in the universe does not go away as there is still matter/dark matter in it. when the universe reaches the edge, it bounces off, and starts to collapse with the help of gravity from the matter/dark matter getting more dense.
it continues to cave in, however, as the universe gets smaller and smaller, that vacuum becomes more and more powerful. eventually the universe goes back to singularity, but the space between the singularity and exo-space is so large, that the vacuum created rips the singularity apart again, another big bang.
reader, do not take what i have just said as solid science. what i did was take pieces of info we know to be true about the universe, and tried to reconcile all of it. i dont want you going around telling your friends that this is the truth about the universe, it might be, but i dont KNOW. i just think that this is the most reasonable explanation for everything outside of god existing, which i think he does
yeah.......thats about it. i'll correct spelling and grammar for once cause i dont want anyone getting confused cause my english sucks.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
On Insults II
You look like the best part of you ran down the crack of your mamas ass and wound up as a brown stain on the mattress.
On The Benefits of Reefer
First let me start of by saying. wow you're stupid if you think theres benefits. No im not saying that you're stupid because you think weed is beneficial to the mind. Not at all. No, its more that weed is only beneficial to the mind, if you're already stupid.
Now follow me here. In a previous post entitled On Humanity, i make the argument that thinking is what it means ot be human and that most people dont really think about the big questions, or even think about anything seriously. it doesnt matter how good the machine is thats doing the thinking, it matters that th emachine is active.
now, like i said, most people dont turn tha tmachine on outside of school. however, when those same stupid people smoke a joint, they start thinking about all the big questions. they start finding science interesting. they listen to music more in depth (i think me and my crew are the only people who like grateful dead when they arent high, cause its GOOD). they ponder, they think, they wonder.
you know what happens when I, a person who does that ALL THE FUCKING TIME, smokes weed? i watch hello kitty.
now, im a thinker, but when i smoke weed, i turn into a dumbass. when dumbasses smoke weed, they turn into thinkers. whats the jist of this? if i have to say it again then you must be a sober dumbass or a stoned intellectual. there is another benefit to weed aside from making stupid people think, and inhibiting cancer growth.
Now follow me here. In a previous post entitled On Humanity, i make the argument that thinking is what it means ot be human and that most people dont really think about the big questions, or even think about anything seriously. it doesnt matter how good the machine is thats doing the thinking, it matters that th emachine is active.
now, like i said, most people dont turn tha tmachine on outside of school. however, when those same stupid people smoke a joint, they start thinking about all the big questions. they start finding science interesting. they listen to music more in depth (i think me and my crew are the only people who like grateful dead when they arent high, cause its GOOD). they ponder, they think, they wonder.
you know what happens when I, a person who does that ALL THE FUCKING TIME, smokes weed? i watch hello kitty.
now, im a thinker, but when i smoke weed, i turn into a dumbass. when dumbasses smoke weed, they turn into thinkers. whats the jist of this? if i have to say it again then you must be a sober dumbass or a stoned intellectual. there is another benefit to weed aside from making stupid people think, and inhibiting cancer growth.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
On Revenge
Revenge is a dish best served cold! Revenge is a dish best served with guns!!! Revenge is a dish best served steaming hot! Which is it? well, none of them. Revenge is actually a dish that leaves with you a bad taste in your mouth and pit in your stomach.
There are all kinds of revenge in the world, all stem from someone hurting someone in some way, and that victim wanting hurt the attacker in the same or worse way. Once again, its an uncooked-ecoli-having steak. Usually, you think oohhhh i'll feel so much better once i get this person for what they've done!! And sometimes, after the veangeance is carried out you, you do feel good. but that lasts only for a time. after a while, you realise what it is that you've done. you've killed because your family was killed, you've destroyed homes because yours was destroyed. you hurt because you have been hurt.
after a while, the justification for your deeds no longer seems to justify doing it unto another. guilt sets in for your transgressions. regrets for deeds come to pass. and then, eventually, you feel the exact same way you did before the vengeance was carried out. you still morn the loss of your family, you still miss your home, and you still feel hurt. There really was no point in acting that way in the first place. you should have known better. in closing, vengeance should never be an option. it wont make you feel better, and sometimes, it'll make you feel worse. Im sorry.
There are all kinds of revenge in the world, all stem from someone hurting someone in some way, and that victim wanting hurt the attacker in the same or worse way. Once again, its an uncooked-ecoli-having steak. Usually, you think oohhhh i'll feel so much better once i get this person for what they've done!! And sometimes, after the veangeance is carried out you, you do feel good. but that lasts only for a time. after a while, you realise what it is that you've done. you've killed because your family was killed, you've destroyed homes because yours was destroyed. you hurt because you have been hurt.
after a while, the justification for your deeds no longer seems to justify doing it unto another. guilt sets in for your transgressions. regrets for deeds come to pass. and then, eventually, you feel the exact same way you did before the vengeance was carried out. you still morn the loss of your family, you still miss your home, and you still feel hurt. There really was no point in acting that way in the first place. you should have known better. in closing, vengeance should never be an option. it wont make you feel better, and sometimes, it'll make you feel worse. Im sorry.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
On Advertising
Normally, id start of such a post by saying, FGUCK ADVETERTISING!!! er somthing. but not today. today my buddy showed me a comercial. that not only is effective, but just fucking sweet and kinda funny. especially the last guy. i give you, "Ninja Gaiden Sigma 2...wavers"
how can you not like that? they're bouncing. in line with the control. im sorry, but ihave a sex drive and it doesnt recognize he difference between well shaded cgi boobies, silicone boobies, and real boobies. its all boobies and boobies own. in fact, im changing the title. no, that isnt the title you read earlier. the title is now...
On Boobies
man, those fucking mamory glands are the shit! they're nice and soft and they bring a smile to a straight mans face. like, girls roll around flaunting the shit out of their boobs. and its awesome! yeah sure you cant look at them, but really bitches, do you really think we dont have techniques? men have developed eye techniques to look at boobs. you think that scene in 36 chambers of shaolin where the dude trains his eyes is for fighting? no way, its so he can look, and look away before you notice. the dude went to town and stared at boobies all day. why? cause boobies fucking own you.
whena child is born, whats the first thing they want? BOOBIES. one fo the very few natural instincts humans has, is fucking boobies. so why cant we just make like dave chappelle and comment on boobs? why the fuck not people!!!! i can say, ooohhh your hairs nice, ooohhh, you hav enice eyes, but i cant say oohhh you have wonderful breasts? shits true! and it wouldnt just be the big cheasted ladies getting those compliments (although, i think its the tiny tittied girls who are the ones who have created this anti-talking-about boobs atmosphere). the small breasted women would be getting some titty loving too. i personally, dont even like big boobs. 90% of men i know, prefer what we like to call "hand boob". and like the name implies, its boobs, that fit in your hand. big boobs arent even a sign of good reproduction in the animal kingdom, its a sign that a bitch is pregnant and cant fuck you. women, you'd be surprised at how many men are satisfied , or even desire boobs below C. i dare you not to fwap to that tiny boobed bitch.
Stoya: I fucking dare you ;)
so women, be proud of your breasts!!! they are becons of womanhood!!! im not saying show us your tits (even though i really wish you would, god i love boobs), what i am saying is, if a guy look at them, dont be offended, it just means that despite knowing you can see him staring, he just cant help himself. even guys like me who actually prefer the face to the boobs (yeah, faces are nicer than boobs, boobs are awesome, but a womans face is art) sometimes cant help but look. pull that hair out of your ass, the dude just gave you a compliment and you got offended.
girl: hey there boy
boy: damn girl those are some fine ass tittays.
girl: *slap* how dare you compliment my fun bags. you're horrible.
boy: you're fat.
see how that went? now stop being bitches unless you wanna be insulted instead of complimented.
how can you not like that? they're bouncing. in line with the control. im sorry, but ihave a sex drive and it doesnt recognize he difference between well shaded cgi boobies, silicone boobies, and real boobies. its all boobies and boobies own. in fact, im changing the title. no, that isnt the title you read earlier. the title is now...
On Boobies
man, those fucking mamory glands are the shit! they're nice and soft and they bring a smile to a straight mans face. like, girls roll around flaunting the shit out of their boobs. and its awesome! yeah sure you cant look at them, but really bitches, do you really think we dont have techniques? men have developed eye techniques to look at boobs. you think that scene in 36 chambers of shaolin where the dude trains his eyes is for fighting? no way, its so he can look, and look away before you notice. the dude went to town and stared at boobies all day. why? cause boobies fucking own you.
whena child is born, whats the first thing they want? BOOBIES. one fo the very few natural instincts humans has, is fucking boobies. so why cant we just make like dave chappelle and comment on boobs? why the fuck not people!!!! i can say, ooohhh your hairs nice, ooohhh, you hav enice eyes, but i cant say oohhh you have wonderful breasts? shits true! and it wouldnt just be the big cheasted ladies getting those compliments (although, i think its the tiny tittied girls who are the ones who have created this anti-talking-about boobs atmosphere). the small breasted women would be getting some titty loving too. i personally, dont even like big boobs. 90% of men i know, prefer what we like to call "hand boob". and like the name implies, its boobs, that fit in your hand. big boobs arent even a sign of good reproduction in the animal kingdom, its a sign that a bitch is pregnant and cant fuck you. women, you'd be surprised at how many men are satisfied , or even desire boobs below C. i dare you not to fwap to that tiny boobed bitch.
Stoya: I fucking dare you ;)
so women, be proud of your breasts!!! they are becons of womanhood!!! im not saying show us your tits (even though i really wish you would, god i love boobs), what i am saying is, if a guy look at them, dont be offended, it just means that despite knowing you can see him staring, he just cant help himself. even guys like me who actually prefer the face to the boobs (yeah, faces are nicer than boobs, boobs are awesome, but a womans face is art) sometimes cant help but look. pull that hair out of your ass, the dude just gave you a compliment and you got offended.
girl: hey there boy
boy: damn girl those are some fine ass tittays.
girl: *slap* how dare you compliment my fun bags. you're horrible.
boy: you're fat.
see how that went? now stop being bitches unless you wanna be insulted instead of complimented.
On Fucking Awesome One Liners
take off your Ignorance Shirt and lay on the Beach of Knowledge, because you're about to soak up some Fact Rays from the Truth Sun
On Feminism
Shut the fuck up.
seriously bitches, wtf is up your ass? bitches can vote, get any job they want, do better than males in most school subjects and still you hos complain that ooooohhhh men in the same job make more money. then do what the men in those same jobs do, ask for a fucking raise.
on the reals bitches, they researched this shit and they found that women ask for raises far less often then men do. so what happens? you get paid less.
another thing, you're holding women back!!! seriously. now you're like wtf are you talking about you MAN. we're doing our best to promote gender quality and raise womens awareness!!! thats why we acknowlege the first woman to do stuff!!!! ok. let me break thsi down for you, and show you how YOU'RE being sexist and holding back true equality.
first, promote gender equality? i can understand if you're fighting against people like this guy.
cause thats just rediculous. but when you're fighting against the average dick having shmoe on the street, that isnt making things equal, if anything that shmoe is gunna be like "damn this bitch is crazy, irrational, on her period, and a fucking bitch. what a bitch. bitch bitch bitch." congrats, you've just created a male chauvinist. also, the person who just created this male chauvinist, is most likely a female chauvinist. same wrong doings, coloured differently are somehow ok since its the feminist movement saying it. sort of the same way how coloured people get away with racism. this problem of feminazis isnt that widespread though. for the most part, i dont meet dick-hating hitler bitches. however, i do meet women, and read feminist prose that glorifies women and their accomplishments soley based on that it was a woman who did it.
that is a serious problem. that in itself is sexism. we're going to make sure we teach woman about the first woman to go into space and spend lots of time talking about how important it is, and we wont talk about any women who were the first to do somthing PERIOD.
you cannot glorfy the person and their gender and act like their gender makes their accomplishment mean somthing. that is sexism right there, because a woman does this, it means somthing more than if a man did it and vice versa. there are many women in history, truely amazing women who have done so much for our society and its basic functions. radioactivty was discovered by a woman. the first time anyone ever won more than one nobel prize , it was given to a woman. the structure of dna, and 80% of the research that watson and crick used, was done by a woman. truely brilliant women here who deserve a spot in history. not because the person who did somthing had a vagina, but because the accomplishment itself is deserving of a place in our minds. why remember amelia airheart and the fact that she fucking failed her mission when we can remember madame curey - without her we'd all have cancer.
well, there was another really long paragraph here, but i decided to trash it like an rca appliance. why? it wasnt making any new points and it was long. and fuck that. i leave with you with this
Yes, this.
seriously bitches, wtf is up your ass? bitches can vote, get any job they want, do better than males in most school subjects and still you hos complain that ooooohhhh men in the same job make more money. then do what the men in those same jobs do, ask for a fucking raise.
on the reals bitches, they researched this shit and they found that women ask for raises far less often then men do. so what happens? you get paid less.
another thing, you're holding women back!!! seriously. now you're like wtf are you talking about you MAN. we're doing our best to promote gender quality and raise womens awareness!!! thats why we acknowlege the first woman to do stuff!!!! ok. let me break thsi down for you, and show you how YOU'RE being sexist and holding back true equality.
first, promote gender equality? i can understand if you're fighting against people like this guy.
cause thats just rediculous. but when you're fighting against the average dick having shmoe on the street, that isnt making things equal, if anything that shmoe is gunna be like "damn this bitch is crazy, irrational, on her period, and a fucking bitch. what a bitch. bitch bitch bitch." congrats, you've just created a male chauvinist. also, the person who just created this male chauvinist, is most likely a female chauvinist. same wrong doings, coloured differently are somehow ok since its the feminist movement saying it. sort of the same way how coloured people get away with racism. this problem of feminazis isnt that widespread though. for the most part, i dont meet dick-hating hitler bitches. however, i do meet women, and read feminist prose that glorifies women and their accomplishments soley based on that it was a woman who did it.
that is a serious problem. that in itself is sexism. we're going to make sure we teach woman about the first woman to go into space and spend lots of time talking about how important it is, and we wont talk about any women who were the first to do somthing PERIOD.
you cannot glorfy the person and their gender and act like their gender makes their accomplishment mean somthing. that is sexism right there, because a woman does this, it means somthing more than if a man did it and vice versa. there are many women in history, truely amazing women who have done so much for our society and its basic functions. radioactivty was discovered by a woman. the first time anyone ever won more than one nobel prize , it was given to a woman. the structure of dna, and 80% of the research that watson and crick used, was done by a woman. truely brilliant women here who deserve a spot in history. not because the person who did somthing had a vagina, but because the accomplishment itself is deserving of a place in our minds. why remember amelia airheart and the fact that she fucking failed her mission when we can remember madame curey - without her we'd all have cancer.
well, there was another really long paragraph here, but i decided to trash it like an rca appliance. why? it wasnt making any new points and it was long. and fuck that. i leave with you with this
Yes, this.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
On The Stupidest Fucking Movie Ever
So im watching gi joe right now. and it has been hitting me with wave after wave of been there donethatedness so fast that it'd give heroes a run for its money.
so far it opened up with int he first like minute, after a half decent intro, reveal that an evil weapons corporation has developed a weapon that really puts the world into their palm. some nanotechnobabblebullshit that they dont realise practical limitations of. this is like what people thought nuclear shit did back int he 50s. dumbass writers. and theres more, then during the most classified mission ever, two guys they were showing more often than everyone else survive a surprise attack and a subsequent saving from the even more classified part of the government. jesus fucking christ are you kidding me? is this really happening? are we relaly going down this road? and then all of the sudden, one dude, meets the hot attacker girl and they had a relationship! THIS IS THE FIRST LIKE 10 FUCKING MINUTES OF THE MOVIE!!! anyway....
this continuesand the hot chick has a relationship with the evil weapons corporation ceo!!!! yes!!! thsi is really happening! they're trying to hit every passe, cliche, rusted old movie plot , whatever the fuck you wanna call this.....in the book!!!! so as i watchi this movie, i will leave a point by point summary of what bs this is....wait i just realised i could get in trouble for revealing the whole movie, i'll keep count and i'll let you people know.....im in for a ride......
so far it opened up with int he first like minute, after a half decent intro, reveal that an evil weapons corporation has developed a weapon that really puts the world into their palm. some nanotechnobabblebullshit that they dont realise practical limitations of. this is like what people thought nuclear shit did back int he 50s. dumbass writers. and theres more, then during the most classified mission ever, two guys they were showing more often than everyone else survive a surprise attack and a subsequent saving from the even more classified part of the government. jesus fucking christ are you kidding me? is this really happening? are we relaly going down this road? and then all of the sudden, one dude, meets the hot attacker girl and they had a relationship! THIS IS THE FIRST LIKE 10 FUCKING MINUTES OF THE MOVIE!!! anyway....
this continuesand the hot chick has a relationship with the evil weapons corporation ceo!!!! yes!!! thsi is really happening! they're trying to hit every passe, cliche, rusted old movie plot , whatever the fuck you wanna call this.....in the book!!!! so as i watchi this movie, i will leave a point by point summary of what bs this is....wait i just realised i could get in trouble for revealing the whole movie, i'll keep count and i'll let you people know.....im in for a ride......
Friday, September 25, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
On 9/11
Lets all take a minute, and remember the tragedy that took place on that fateful day. lets all take a minute and think about its impact on the world. lets all take a minute and think about all the people who were murdered. lets all take a minute and think about the murderers. lets all take a minute, a moment of silence if you will, and stand in reverence for those lost.
lets all take a minute and take a minute and remember the past
lets all take a minute and prevent that past from becoming present once more.
lets all take a minute and turn our cheeks from others
lets all take a minute and cause death to our brothers
lets all take a minute and focus on what divides us, for it is our differences that prevail
lets all take a minute and seek justice for the fallen
lets all take a minute and seek justice for the fallen
lets all take a minute and seek justice for the fallen
lets all take a minute to see virtue in bigotry
lets all take a minute and allow our ideals to veil reason
lets all take a minute and let pain conquer love
lets all take a minute and lose our humanity.
lets all take a minute and seek vengeance for our families
lets all take a minute and take the lives of the life takers
its time we moved on from remembrance and reverence in regards to great tragedies. they should not cause us to move in the direction of hate and revenge as they already do. we must rise above ourselves. we always hear how those who dont remember the past, are doomed to repeat its mistakes. world leaders, everyone for that matter, remembers the past. it has not brought us any closer to brotherhood. its our remembrance of our conflicts, the anger held by those with fallen family, and the vengeance which stems from not letting the past be the past that causes future strife. palestine and israel may be less angry with each other if they could forgive and forget the past conflicts. maybe relations between u.s.a and iran would be better too. to those who say that its not that easy...why cant it be? seriously. are we just making this more difficult than it has to be?
lets all take a minute to forgive
lets all take a minute to forget
lets all take a minute and take a minute and remember the past
lets all take a minute and prevent that past from becoming present once more.
lets all take a minute and turn our cheeks from others
lets all take a minute and cause death to our brothers
lets all take a minute and focus on what divides us, for it is our differences that prevail
lets all take a minute and seek justice for the fallen
lets all take a minute and seek justice for the fallen
lets all take a minute and seek justice for the fallen
lets all take a minute to see virtue in bigotry
lets all take a minute and allow our ideals to veil reason
lets all take a minute and let pain conquer love
lets all take a minute and lose our humanity.
lets all take a minute and seek vengeance for our families
lets all take a minute and take the lives of the life takers
its time we moved on from remembrance and reverence in regards to great tragedies. they should not cause us to move in the direction of hate and revenge as they already do. we must rise above ourselves. we always hear how those who dont remember the past, are doomed to repeat its mistakes. world leaders, everyone for that matter, remembers the past. it has not brought us any closer to brotherhood. its our remembrance of our conflicts, the anger held by those with fallen family, and the vengeance which stems from not letting the past be the past that causes future strife. palestine and israel may be less angry with each other if they could forgive and forget the past conflicts. maybe relations between u.s.a and iran would be better too. to those who say that its not that easy...why cant it be? seriously. are we just making this more difficult than it has to be?
lets all take a minute to forgive
lets all take a minute to forget
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
On Music as an Artform
You know, ever think about music? i mean...really...think about music. what is music? why is music? 5 double-yous music? so why is a collection of noises pleasing, but another isnt? why does music evoke such powerful emotions in us? i mean, the shit can move you to tears faster than a kick to the sack. why is this?
cause music is a language. music IS the universal language. and it appeals to everyone cause whether they know it or not, the music is being processed in that part of the brain. when you hear the times they are a-changing and you get this.....feeling in your stomach, that things are moving forward, triumph. but at the same time brings you feelings of loss and sadness. it isnt just the lyrics, if bob just moaned the song (which hes done before) itd still move you. a song, can evoke such a complex emotion that i had to use 4 adjectives just to describe it POORLY. music surely is a gift.
and what have we done with this gift? we shat on it. no one creates music for anything than a fuck, a jump around and a holla!!!! those arent the only emotions humans are capable of so why is it thats the only music that gets pumped through the airwaves. i could make this a screed on the evils of industry, but fuck that i just wanna tlak about music. and how much i love it.
music can be used for so much. music can change the world, indicate the change has taken place, it can heal, and it can hurt. lets stop pumping out crap for the sake of music in it of itself. how can we insult all the great music that has been released in the past, released today, and to be released on the morrow with crap? how can we insult one of the few universal human things? music isnt meant to make money, its art, lets keep it that way.
cause music is a language. music IS the universal language. and it appeals to everyone cause whether they know it or not, the music is being processed in that part of the brain. when you hear the times they are a-changing and you get this.....feeling in your stomach, that things are moving forward, triumph. but at the same time brings you feelings of loss and sadness. it isnt just the lyrics, if bob just moaned the song (which hes done before) itd still move you. a song, can evoke such a complex emotion that i had to use 4 adjectives just to describe it POORLY. music surely is a gift.
and what have we done with this gift? we shat on it. no one creates music for anything than a fuck, a jump around and a holla!!!! those arent the only emotions humans are capable of so why is it thats the only music that gets pumped through the airwaves. i could make this a screed on the evils of industry, but fuck that i just wanna tlak about music. and how much i love it.
music can be used for so much. music can change the world, indicate the change has taken place, it can heal, and it can hurt. lets stop pumping out crap for the sake of music in it of itself. how can we insult all the great music that has been released in the past, released today, and to be released on the morrow with crap? how can we insult one of the few universal human things? music isnt meant to make money, its art, lets keep it that way.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
On Humanity
What makes us human? Really think about it. Is it our appearance? Is it the way humans communicate with a sort of grammar as opposed to how other animals do? Is it simple speciation as in how we cant breed with non humans and we therefor, are a species? What is it? There are so many different ways we can define ourselves and still call ourselves human, but what is it truely? I submit to you that it cannot be any of these. It cant be that humans have language and animals dont, because testing to see if theres syntax in chimp speak is almost impossible. For example, there is the english word, "she" and the mandarin or cantonese (i dunno which one, some kinda chinese) word "chi". now, it is very hard to accurately, and regularly hear the differences when its being said alternatively. adults fail miserably at this test, but babies can do it 100% accurately...think about why that is.
So this test was done on english speaking people, so they have had their whole lives using English, one fo the languages one of the two words belongs to. But what if we used people who could only speak swahili? Would their test scores be even lower? Well based on how babies did much better because they have yet to program any language and sound bias into their head, it wouldnt be too much of a leap to think that yes, swahili speakers would score lower because their brains are programed to hear swahili sounds over anything else, just as we english speakers hear she more often than chi, and the chinese hear chi more often than she.
so if we can barely analyze our own languages, how can we then pick up chimp speak, and see if it has grammar? we cant even tell them apart physically because our brains are programed to recognize the differences in human facial patterns, not chimp. In conclusion, one one of the most human things, grammar, is not what makes us human because other animals may have grammar, but due to the species gap, we cant tell. grammar for a species may just be a matter of perspective.
So what does make us human? If not language, how about our appearance? Well i say to you, what about how different we all look, are chinese people less human because of the extra fold of skin on the eyes? are black people more human because they have huge dicks? are bengalis the master race because they are in between all races? Within our appearances there is such great variation, that we cannot take appearance as a definition for humanity. If we did we'd be excluding some, and including others, and we all know that we identify blacks, jews, indians, orientals and whites as humans.
I submit to you, the reader, for your own questioning and evalutation that it is the seeking of ultimate truth that makes us human. to our knowlege, ants, elephants and sharks dont concern themselves with the answers to life, the universe and everything (if they did they'd know its 42)
. But we as humans do. The method through which we seek truth is irrelvant, be it science or religion. Both have different routes to the same goal. Both seek to answer the ultimate questions in life.
However, with that said, there are a lot of people, who are biologically human, but arent truely human if we accept that definition of humanity. Does this mean the definition is wrong? In my opinion, no. This is my argument, not a statement of fact because really, how can one state facts about such an abstract issue: Humans have a physical birth, just like every other creature on this planet; we go through life carrying out the functions of biological needs such as getting food, shelter, and making babies. What makes you think that going to university, learning so you can get a good job, so you can buy a nice house, get a nice wife and have kids is any different from a robin who gets up in the morning, flies around all day collecting the best twigs to build his nest, finding a partner, making babies and seeking food for them. In the end the two are pretty much the same thing. The same acts coloured differently.
It is when a person has their "spiritual" birth do they become a human. Its when they start questioning, pondering, THINKING do they shed the title of beast and assume the role of man. It is when the undergrad starts to think, why is everything, the way it is? It is when the Yogi looks within himself and asks, why does life flow so perfectly like a symphony? Why is a dead body different from a live one? All of these sorts of questions, are what makes us human. Dont shit yourself in thinking that you are a man or a woman if you only carry out biology. How can you say you have humanity when you are only carrying out the functions as stated by your DNA?
In closing, it is when a person starts to think are they born again as a human. I submit to you a challenge. Be a man. Think. Question. Wonder.
So this test was done on english speaking people, so they have had their whole lives using English, one fo the languages one of the two words belongs to. But what if we used people who could only speak swahili? Would their test scores be even lower? Well based on how babies did much better because they have yet to program any language and sound bias into their head, it wouldnt be too much of a leap to think that yes, swahili speakers would score lower because their brains are programed to hear swahili sounds over anything else, just as we english speakers hear she more often than chi, and the chinese hear chi more often than she.
so if we can barely analyze our own languages, how can we then pick up chimp speak, and see if it has grammar? we cant even tell them apart physically because our brains are programed to recognize the differences in human facial patterns, not chimp. In conclusion, one one of the most human things, grammar, is not what makes us human because other animals may have grammar, but due to the species gap, we cant tell. grammar for a species may just be a matter of perspective.
So what does make us human? If not language, how about our appearance? Well i say to you, what about how different we all look, are chinese people less human because of the extra fold of skin on the eyes? are black people more human because they have huge dicks? are bengalis the master race because they are in between all races? Within our appearances there is such great variation, that we cannot take appearance as a definition for humanity. If we did we'd be excluding some, and including others, and we all know that we identify blacks, jews, indians, orientals and whites as humans.
I submit to you, the reader, for your own questioning and evalutation that it is the seeking of ultimate truth that makes us human. to our knowlege, ants, elephants and sharks dont concern themselves with the answers to life, the universe and everything (if they did they'd know its 42)
. But we as humans do. The method through which we seek truth is irrelvant, be it science or religion. Both have different routes to the same goal. Both seek to answer the ultimate questions in life.
However, with that said, there are a lot of people, who are biologically human, but arent truely human if we accept that definition of humanity. Does this mean the definition is wrong? In my opinion, no. This is my argument, not a statement of fact because really, how can one state facts about such an abstract issue: Humans have a physical birth, just like every other creature on this planet; we go through life carrying out the functions of biological needs such as getting food, shelter, and making babies. What makes you think that going to university, learning so you can get a good job, so you can buy a nice house, get a nice wife and have kids is any different from a robin who gets up in the morning, flies around all day collecting the best twigs to build his nest, finding a partner, making babies and seeking food for them. In the end the two are pretty much the same thing. The same acts coloured differently.
It is when a person has their "spiritual" birth do they become a human. Its when they start questioning, pondering, THINKING do they shed the title of beast and assume the role of man. It is when the undergrad starts to think, why is everything, the way it is? It is when the Yogi looks within himself and asks, why does life flow so perfectly like a symphony? Why is a dead body different from a live one? All of these sorts of questions, are what makes us human. Dont shit yourself in thinking that you are a man or a woman if you only carry out biology. How can you say you have humanity when you are only carrying out the functions as stated by your DNA?
In closing, it is when a person starts to think are they born again as a human. I submit to you a challenge. Be a man. Think. Question. Wonder.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
On Orphan
wtf. i paid money to see this shit? this is what i get for trusting my sisters taste in horror movies. like. ok im gunna actually talk about the movie this time.
part 1: the shit that was well done
so its starts off with the scariest scene in the movie, some bitch (who we later realise is the main character) rolls up into a hospital and her husband is all logical and concerned 'n shit since shes walking but really if he cared he woulda got her a fucking rolly-chair for her pregoass in the first place instead of make the bitch walk to the counter while he talks to the nurse 'n shit. what a shitface. anyway nurse pulls up a wheelchair for her and she sits down, and oh shit she starts moaning in pain 'n stuff since shes in labour. so she gets pushed around and then they show her broken water dripping. but oh shit its blood! lots of it! so that was pretty unimaginitive, but the colour of the blood was really well done so it was a cool scene, kudos to the effects team. she gets into the delivery room and everyone is shady as fuck. so we know fucked up stuff is going on, anyway, she gives birth to a still born child and its all bloody and crunchy sounding. good scene, but it was all down hill from there. OH, and it was a dream, didnt fucking happen, bitch wakes up and its the future. i think it might be a parallell future similar to bizzarro world where comedy is horror, vice versa, and i am 5 times funnier than eddie murphy and 3.3 times better looking than johnny depp.
part 2 of my rant: everything that was wrong with the movie
so the husband and wife have two kids, a deaf daughter and a typical son, i dont know which is worse (oh no he didnt!!!!). so after wife births out the corpse kid shes all distraught and decides to adopt a kid, the dad is on board with this since hes like wicked new kid im a rich architect and she can raise em. so they go to a creepy orphanage where they meet this creepy russian orphan girl who paints cartoony, but slightly creepy pictures (kudos to whoever decided to have her paint the paintings that were shown). they like the kid, find out she doesnt like when people touch her ribbons, and they leave after picking up a new kid like a puppy from pj pets. so they get home , freaky shit starts going down. but not freaky in the omen sense, freaky in the...its not freaky at all sense. little girl starts manipulating people into getting what she wants, kids are mean to her, and she fucks them up. anyway, when i say this movie sucks, i dont think you believe me, so i'll illustrate a scene.
so previously, there was a little girl at school who makes fun of the orphans clothing. orphans like bitch how dare you, imma kill your ass later (she thinks this, doesnt say this). so later on orphan goes to the park with her new parents 'n shit and rando mean girl is there for plot purposes, shes by herself which is also stupid cause shes like what...10? where the fuck are her parents - way to go writers and director. anyway, the camera follows the little girl around and the lighting is made to be dimmer than what a real snow covered day looks like, extra dark wood to give you the heeby jeebies as you watch the little girl go up the jungle gym and make her way towards the slide. so all the while theres this scary ass music playing as you watch this girl go to the slide, and she looks like shes afraid 'n shit. of what? what could she possibly be afraid of? orphan girl hasnt done anything yet, and pedobear is no where to be seen. so what is she scared of? fucking nothing, this director sucks. told the actress to look scared for the sake of it being a horror movie and he wants to scare the crowd. but the shit for brains doesnt realise that nothing scary is actually happening on screen so he tries to scare you with dark wood and tension chords played by strings. oOoOoOoOoOoOo im so fucking scared. anyway, orphan pops out and pushes the little girl down the slide and she breaks her leg. lol
movie continues, and all the scary scenes are like that, nothing scary is happening BUT queue scary music, and cue dim lighting, cause THATS what horror is all about, right guys?
anyway, movie continues to suck and then after the mom investigates, she finds out the orphan is actually a 35 year old estonian psychopath who rolls around getting adopted, fucking up the families relationships, trying to seduce the father, and then killing everyone after the father doesnt wanna fuck a girl he thought was his daughter. so basically the bitch is a psycho homewrecker, in the body of a 10 year old. cause she has a disease. this at first , seems like a great twist, but then it makes the end of the movie suck more than it would have in the first place. instead of it being a psycho kid killing people (which people find scary), its just a tiny crazy bitch trying to steal her husband. (which people dont find scary). you know what other shitty movie has a similar premise? the one with beyonce and the girl from heroes who dies and comes back as a sister to the dead one she was already playing. and well know how bad the writing is in heroes...anyway, everything about this movie does suck, ive only given you a taste of the level of suckatude this movie contains, like the relationship problems between husband and wife, the son, and the overall direction of the movie. this director doesnt know his head from a bowl of pudding. everything is his fault. do you have any idea how funny this movie actually was? i wanna get stoned and watch this piece of crap. on second thought, thats a waste of weed. anyway dont see this. 1/5.
ps, i'll edit my spelling later you fucking nazis.
part 1: the shit that was well done
so its starts off with the scariest scene in the movie, some bitch (who we later realise is the main character) rolls up into a hospital and her husband is all logical and concerned 'n shit since shes walking but really if he cared he woulda got her a fucking rolly-chair for her pregoass in the first place instead of make the bitch walk to the counter while he talks to the nurse 'n shit. what a shitface. anyway nurse pulls up a wheelchair for her and she sits down, and oh shit she starts moaning in pain 'n stuff since shes in labour. so she gets pushed around and then they show her broken water dripping. but oh shit its blood! lots of it! so that was pretty unimaginitive, but the colour of the blood was really well done so it was a cool scene, kudos to the effects team. she gets into the delivery room and everyone is shady as fuck. so we know fucked up stuff is going on, anyway, she gives birth to a still born child and its all bloody and crunchy sounding. good scene, but it was all down hill from there. OH, and it was a dream, didnt fucking happen, bitch wakes up and its the future. i think it might be a parallell future similar to bizzarro world where comedy is horror, vice versa, and i am 5 times funnier than eddie murphy and 3.3 times better looking than johnny depp.
part 2 of my rant: everything that was wrong with the movie
so the husband and wife have two kids, a deaf daughter and a typical son, i dont know which is worse (oh no he didnt!!!!). so after wife births out the corpse kid shes all distraught and decides to adopt a kid, the dad is on board with this since hes like wicked new kid im a rich architect and she can raise em. so they go to a creepy orphanage where they meet this creepy russian orphan girl who paints cartoony, but slightly creepy pictures (kudos to whoever decided to have her paint the paintings that were shown). they like the kid, find out she doesnt like when people touch her ribbons, and they leave after picking up a new kid like a puppy from pj pets. so they get home , freaky shit starts going down. but not freaky in the omen sense, freaky in the...its not freaky at all sense. little girl starts manipulating people into getting what she wants, kids are mean to her, and she fucks them up. anyway, when i say this movie sucks, i dont think you believe me, so i'll illustrate a scene.
so previously, there was a little girl at school who makes fun of the orphans clothing. orphans like bitch how dare you, imma kill your ass later (she thinks this, doesnt say this). so later on orphan goes to the park with her new parents 'n shit and rando mean girl is there for plot purposes, shes by herself which is also stupid cause shes like what...10? where the fuck are her parents - way to go writers and director. anyway, the camera follows the little girl around and the lighting is made to be dimmer than what a real snow covered day looks like, extra dark wood to give you the heeby jeebies as you watch the little girl go up the jungle gym and make her way towards the slide. so all the while theres this scary ass music playing as you watch this girl go to the slide, and she looks like shes afraid 'n shit. of what? what could she possibly be afraid of? orphan girl hasnt done anything yet, and pedobear is no where to be seen. so what is she scared of? fucking nothing, this director sucks. told the actress to look scared for the sake of it being a horror movie and he wants to scare the crowd. but the shit for brains doesnt realise that nothing scary is actually happening on screen so he tries to scare you with dark wood and tension chords played by strings. oOoOoOoOoOoOo im so fucking scared. anyway, orphan pops out and pushes the little girl down the slide and she breaks her leg. lol
movie continues, and all the scary scenes are like that, nothing scary is happening BUT queue scary music, and cue dim lighting, cause THATS what horror is all about, right guys?
anyway, movie continues to suck and then after the mom investigates, she finds out the orphan is actually a 35 year old estonian psychopath who rolls around getting adopted, fucking up the families relationships, trying to seduce the father, and then killing everyone after the father doesnt wanna fuck a girl he thought was his daughter. so basically the bitch is a psycho homewrecker, in the body of a 10 year old. cause she has a disease. this at first , seems like a great twist, but then it makes the end of the movie suck more than it would have in the first place. instead of it being a psycho kid killing people (which people find scary), its just a tiny crazy bitch trying to steal her husband. (which people dont find scary). you know what other shitty movie has a similar premise? the one with beyonce and the girl from heroes who dies and comes back as a sister to the dead one she was already playing. and well know how bad the writing is in heroes...anyway, everything about this movie does suck, ive only given you a taste of the level of suckatude this movie contains, like the relationship problems between husband and wife, the son, and the overall direction of the movie. this director doesnt know his head from a bowl of pudding. everything is his fault. do you have any idea how funny this movie actually was? i wanna get stoned and watch this piece of crap. on second thought, thats a waste of weed. anyway dont see this. 1/5.
ps, i'll edit my spelling later you fucking nazis.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Holy shit a blig
So one day i was like yo, i think too much. im not a smart man (chances are im less stupid than you), although i fancy myself a combination of Nikola Tesla, Winston Churchill, and Andy Warhol - minus the art. even though this means that in my wildest dreams, i would not be getting any pussy, it also means that in my wildest dreams, i'd create a pink and purple earth-rending robot that could traverse spacetime like brunoleski's (however the fuck you spell his name) brushes on a canvas. what im trying to say is, the only thing you're gunna get here, is a fist full of my mind rammed through you at warp-speed-squared. from my thoughts on ethics/morality, science crap, spirtuality, random stuff that shocks my brain into life, to pop culture, science fiction, movies and music. all of the good stuff that makes life worth living. anyway, i wanted to make this more interesting but fuck it, i gotta go to the movies just like all you other insignificant pions.
remember when i said i wasnt a smart man? i was OJ lying.
remember when i said i wasnt a smart man? i was OJ lying.
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